Horizon II 22, Joshiraku7, Penguin, er, Polar Bear 22

Kyoukai Senjou no Horizon II 21 nearly buried me alive with talk. I swear, it’s all action or all talk with this show. No in-betweens.

High-level diplomatic crises are rarely this silly.

First we have Innocentius and Tachibana barging in on the high-level negotiations and asking why they’re fine with killing Double Bloody Mary when they fought to save Horizon. I could answer that: Horizon isn’t a part of the history, but before I can open my mouth another guy bursts in, Maeda Toshiie, allied with the P.A., ODA’s P.A.O.M. (just call them Wallenstein, I guess), apparently mercenaries hired by Elizabeth who now thinks it’s high time to blow Musashi out of the sky, how about it Elizabeth? There’s also stuff about the Thirty Years War he’s fighting, but that’s an aside. He conjures up some nasty ghost armies, the Kaga Million Geists, for support. This is when Toori rolls into the hall, mostly naked of course. ____ shoots him. She brought a weapon! And Horizon’s WMD falls out of the alternate plane she has at her backside. Oh, oh.

Knowing that sort of spoils the atmosphere.

I don’t quite get how they got out of that predicament but Horizon then answers Innocentius’s question from earlier. DBM is prepared to die, and it’s a part of the reenactment. Just what I said, more or less! The next thing you know, Honda is suggesting Elizabeth cut ties with Wallenstein and in return Musashi will break this now-troublesome trade agreement and become their mercenaries in their place. And finally the scene ends and we move to other scenes that are less intense but just as talky. Elizabeth takes Honda to see Avalon (after hitting her on the head a couple of times for kicks), which was made by Henry VIII by the way. I’ll just skip the dimension-folding talk and get to the big black hole there, the representation of the apocalypse the world will get if they don’t do the reenactments. It’s actually nice to finally see a tangible reason for all this ridiculous fighting. Oh, and Tenzo prepares for a date, or an infiltration, or both, with Master Scarred, er, DBM (killer of 300 Anglicans, single-handed), or Elizabeth’ changeling, or vice versa, or whoever else they decide to make her next week.

In Joshiraku 7 … Pentathalons, Triathalons, Biatholons, but that was just a warmup before they spot the hina dolls left out, meaning they’re all going to be spinsters, then they get covered in green tea powder they mistake for mold (the cultural references are whizzing over my head in bunches this episode), and so decide to become delinquents because they get married early. From there the digressions become pointless. After that they visit Tsukiji Fish Market where shouting, movements, cars, elecrocars, looking cool, buildings, moving the market, and new kanji for the girls and fish are discussed. Finally, the girls try to cut down on their energy usage by tracking down all sources of electricity. They discover far worse, but since none of it is “noteworthy,” i.e., energy-consuming, they ignore it. Oh, Kigu is a robot.

Penguin-san’s greatest nightmare.

Polar Bear’s Cafe 22 is all Penguin, so it’s all good. I didn’t know there were so many types of penguin. Besides the Emperor and King, we have the Adelie, Gentoo, Chinstrap (who’ve we already met), the Royal, White, Humbolt, Magellanic, Snares, Fiordland, Cape, Galapagos, Rockhopper, Erect-Crested, Yellow-Eyed, and the Little Penguin! In the second half Penguin (Emperor) is forced into a date with the seven lady penguins and tries to come up with a way to tell them apart. Both stories are good, but a little sad. Penguin types don’t get enough respect, and Penguin-san should treat his ladies with more respect.

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